Monday, October 31, 2005

the reply

Uh oh, now I've done it. I think that I've awoken a sleeping giant. See attached note below...

Last day

Today being my last day at JMA Cubicle Joe celebrated by passing out a sheet of quotes that I have made over the past 2 1/2 years. According to him, I did actually say all of these things. Thankfully, most are taken out of context or else you might think that I'm kind of strange or something. Although, after reading the quotes, there isn't much that I can say about a few of them..

here they are. Thanks Joe


‘You find my foot sexy, don’t you?’

‘…and then your hands get all dirty and you can’t touch yourself.’

‘God, you’re stupid.’

‘I want to pee on you right now.’

‘I like to sit back here and look at my little thing.’

‘C’mere, I need to measure your ass.’

‘I’m just ignorant, that’s all.’

‘Don’t you think it’s ironic that you like hair bands?’ (said to Joe)

‘Prostitutes don’t cost very much in Maine, so my allowance covered it.’

‘It just feels weird to be naked in front of the Baptist Church.’

‘I can feel my testicles shrinking.’ (while enjoying some ‘easy listening’ music)

‘I’ll let him sniff my butt or something, but I’m not giving him any presents.’
-12.7.04 (on Chance’s birthday)

‘I was heating up my fish, and thought –‘Oh crap! John will smell it!’. So I sat in the bathroom and ate it. I was sitting there thinking, ‘This is pathetic’.’

‘Why you would try to brew coffee from monkey poop is beyond me.’

‘Quit staring at your crack.’
‘Is it bad if my pants keep vibrating?’

‘I’m a little concerned about my mental well-being.’

‘You never know with crazy people. Very unpredictable.’

‘I’m going to burn my bra.’

‘Shit. I should have thought of what to say before I started talking.’

Words to live by my friends.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

my deepest apologies

I have been riddled with guilt since I published the "Mungo Baby" series of posts. Was I being too cruel? Can Brynna somehow sense that I'm poking fun at her? Does my butt look big in these jeans? It has gotten to the point that I can't go home and look at that cute little face and not feel the need to pluck my eyelashes as penance. I also fear that with the age that children become computer savvy these days that she may in fact have the opportunity to read these posts. According to my calculations Brynna will be online by the time that she's three months old. "that's absurd!" you say? Well if you consider how things are progressing with computers these days it doesn't seem so crazy. Examples: My grandmother learned to use the computer in her 70's (and when I say learned I mean that she was able to consistently lose all of her work because she didn't understand the concept of saving). My mom began using computers at work in her 30's. I started using computers in my late teens. (notice everybody is progressively getting younger?) I have nieces and nephews that were surfing by five. So it seems to me that it doesn't take any huge leap of faith to believe that the current crop of juves will be computer savy before they are done pooping in their pants. Just to be on the safe side, I've decided to write Brynna an apology letter. Here goes.

Dearest Brynn,

Daddio here. How are things? Chance and Grace are doing well. Joe gave me a wet willie so I gave him a wedgie. I'm writing this letter to let you know that I am very sorry for the way that I spoke of your bulbous melon. Its really not so much bulbous as it is gigantic. (hmmm, this doesn't sound like a very good apology. let me try a different tact) Your noggin may be huge but have you looked at daddy's head recently? When a hat says "One size fits all" in parenthesis below it says "(except for Rick's big fat grape)". Umbrellas fit my head better than most hats. What I'm trying to say is that having a big head isn't all that bad. Sure, when you're walking down the street perfect strangers will yell out "Hey, whats up kickball head?!" or "can you move over, you're blocking the sun". But they mean nothing by it and I think that they are just trying to make conversation.

Mommy is a little worried that the size of your head could be an indicator of a medical problem but I told her that there is nothing to be worried about. All us Nelson's look like walking ping pong paddles and we're all just fine. For example, when Darren was born his head was so huge that initially the doctor's told my mom that he was most likely mentally retarded. My mom protested the diagnosis and simply had to march me and Uncle Rusty into the room to prove her point. When you get to know Uncle Darren, you'll see that he's not retarded in the least. He's just a lovable goof, sort of like a big floppy eared dog. Everybody loves him but get a bit annoyed when he humps their legs.

So I hope this clears things up.

Love you sweetness.

Big Daddy

(p.s. something tells me that I'll be writing an apology to Uncle Darren next)

Monday, October 24, 2005

Mungo baby part deux

Well, its official, Brynna is huge! Over the weekend we were forced to retire all of her 0-3 month rompers (footed jammies) because Brynna is too long for all of them. She still fits into her onesies and shirts and pants, just nothing with attached feet. Keep in mind here that she is only 7 weeks old. On a humorous note, on Saturday we were suiting up to go for a hike in Edgecomb. Marcy decided to try a 3-6 month fleece pull over coat that we have for Brynna. Now I think I know how marcy felt trying to push our little bundle of joy out of her. The pull over was so tight going over Brynna's head that I had to perform an emergency episiotomy thus allowing the bulbous melon (god, I hope that Brynna never has access to these entries when she's older) to pass freely. Overall I believe that it was probably very similar to what marcy went through minus all of the blood and screaming.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

mungo baby

Marcy took Brynna to the doctor's office to have a few things checked out that we were worried about (not your typical new parents over reacting stuff either, chucko, some of it was stuff that we were told to watch for). Anyway, little baby wonder got a clean bill of health from the doc so all is good. Marcy and I had also been wondering how much she weighs since it has been a month since her last visit and the fact that she eats as if there is no tomorrow. She makes such funny noises when she eats. Sometimes, she'll growl at the mams (that's mammary glands for you lay folk, ya know, boobies) when she's nursing in what we can only assume is an attempt to scare the milk out of mommy. Cute but scary. She'll also eat with such gusto and ferocity that occasionally she'll be forced off of the boob in order to take a very startled breath before diving back in. But I digress. Mini-me weighed in at 12 lbs. That's in the 97th percentile for 6 week old babies. We've been assured on several occasions that you cannot over feed a breast fed baby and that Brynna's weight is perfectly normal though so we're not worried. From the pictures you can tell that she has a chubby little face but the rest of her body is actually quite skinny, ripped even. Marcy and I have her doing her pilates every day now and I think that she's getting a set of baby abs going on...

Monday, October 17, 2005

New Fireplace

in progress

final product

Good God! Look at those lashes! She's gonna be breaking some hearts and I'm gonna be breaking some legs.

Red Sox fan.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Too damn cute.

you'd think that she was related to me or something...


If you consider New York south as us Mainers do. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Doggy Teresa Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Columbus Day weekend

This was a very busy weekend for little miss Brynna. We started out on Friday evening checking out new cars in Augusta (my two door "chick magnet" just isn't gonna cut it much longer with a baby seat in the back) so we're looking into getting a four door (now at least I'll be able to pile the babes in like cord wood!) Hmmm, might get into trouble for that one. Oh well. After car shopping we dragged her clothes shopping and to dinner. We chose the loudest restaurant that we could find (Longhorns) so that when she inevitably started to wail, nobody would notice. All went well and we made it through most of the meal before needing to evacuate the establishment. On Saturday, Brynna charmed two sets of grandparents in her own special way (sleeping and grunting). Sunday was the real test though. Sunday morning was Calia's baptism and kegger in Falmouth. We opted to only go to the kegger so as to avoid the "screaming baby in church" ordeal. We all had a good time and Brynna and Calia were a hit with all in attendance as usual. Tina had the opportunity to tie on a good buzz and spent a good part of the party looking for and misplacing her wine cup. It was quite funny seeing her let loose after abstaining for so long. I had a couple of beers myself and was starting to feel pretty good myself, especially considering what a light weight I am nowadays. To top it off, Sunday afternoon Marcy had family from New York stopping in to see our little princess for the first time as well. Busy, busy and as a result Brynna slept all day yesterday. And I do mean ALL DAY. She only woke up long enough to eat and poop. Sounds like a good day in my books.

Calia and Brynna posing for pics.
Notice Brynna sporting the infamous "Nelson" head. She weighs somewhere between 10 & 11 lbs and I'd guess that 12 pounds of it is in that noggin. She holds it up pretty well though considering.

happy family Posted by Picasa

content baby Posted by Picasa

no comment, just cute. Posted by Picasa

This happens to be mommy's 50% thank you very much. My 50% is much more mellow and less demanding. Posted by Picasa

Friday, October 07, 2005

bodily functions (of course!)

Why is it that as a parent it doesn't necessarily disgust you to have pee, poop and vomit on you within a 10 minute time frame?

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


Brynna is officially one month old today and things seem to be progressing well now. She has a small amount of head control and can pick her head up now but she still looks amazingly similar to a bobble head doll. If she's on your shoulder and you're not careful, you could have a softball size projectile propelling towards your head. Better watch out. She is also sleeping more during the evening and less during the day thank god. She still gets up every couple of hours to eat but at least she sleeps most of the time between.

The most exciting change that we've seen though is that she will occasionally smile if prompted. For the past month the only time that she would smile was while passing gas (much like her daddy) but on Sunday Marcy and I were able to get her to smile several times. I can't tell you how cool it is to have your baby start to interact with you. Good times.

On Saturday we went to the Camden Harbor Arts Juried Craft Fair (translation: lots of expensive stuff made by people with too much time on their hands) with Joe, Sally, Michael and Enzo. It was a beautiful day with lots of cool stuff to look at. Marcy and I only brought $40 with us and about all that would buy was a cup of coffee and a bookmark or two. No kidding, probably 90% of the stuff at the "craft fair" was over 40 clams. The craft fairs that I'm used to put a heavy emphasis on popsicle sticks and elmers glue. It was fun though and Brynna was content in her stroller for most of the time.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Couch potato. Brynna watching her Baby Einstein, Baby Bach. Posted by Picasa