Yukon Cornelius

This blog is beginning to get out of control. Over the weekend I had a "fan" recognize me. Well, not me exactly, but my feet at least. Seems my "Shoe Whore" post has got feet of its own (get it? Shoe--feet!!!???) and has caused an outpouring of comments (2 actually). The second comment came from Marcy's boss Jon, who seems to find my new fashion sense to be a bit disturbing. This coming from a man who looks like he lived in Alaska long enough to develop an unnatural fondness for seals of the fairer sex (just kidding Jon, please don't fire Marcy).










That reminds me of a joke:

A penguin brings his car into the garage to be looked at because it was smoking. While waiting the penguin decided to have a tuna fish sandwich. After a while a mechanic comes in and says "Looks like you blew a seal." Embarrassed, the penguin wipes off his beak and says, "no that was just mayonnaise."

various photos

Sitting with Papa Don and the ankle biters.



















Enjoying a game of free-fall.














Contemplating the world economy.

Shoe Whore

Marcy has turned me into a shoe whore. Up until two weeks ago, I wore the same ll bean chuckas on a nearly daily basis for about 4-5 years. Two weeks ago Marcy's influence convinced me to buy not one but two new pairs of shoes! Damn her.

exhibit a

exhibit b

Dumb dog

Last night while Marcy and I were getting dinner ready and cleaning up the kitchen, I looked out the window to see this...














Chance had apparently made himself a snowball to kick around...














Given his love for rocks, I suspect that this was a loaded snowball and was actually a large rock that had been rolled around in the sticky snow long enough to create Frosty's head.














Just to be sure, I broke that sucker open and this is what I found. I'm not sure but I think that I can see a tear coming from Chance's eye.

Ace in the hole

No time today so here is a link from my friend and yours JMA Joe.
euphemisms. I especially like the comedic porn names at the bottom of the page.

He was too much of a “Fertile Delta” to post it himself.

I'm smarter than you!

Gotta be quicker than that

rice cereal and stuff

Well, whats new. Last week I mentioned that Brynna had started eating her rice cereal with gusto, quickly going through 3-4 tablespoons (mixed with about 3 oz of essence of boob). Over the weekend though she has started an interest and disturbing new trend. She still eats it but likes to make you work for it. Instead of opening wide to accept the spoon, she will open wide as if to take the spoon and then quickly turn her head and stick her thumb in. As soon as you pull the spoon away, out the thumb comes. She likes the cereal so I don’t believe that this is a way to keep from eating it, I just think that it’s a fun game for her. Its gotten to the point that she’s really starting to test our reflexes, we have to be so quick jamming the spoon in that occasionally she’ll end up with the cereal in her nose, all over her hands etc. Annoying as it is, it’s also pretty damn cute, especially when she gives you that LOOK while doing it. Like Calia, she has also started to take great interest in glasses, beer bottles etc. Just yesterday while sitting on the couch with me drinking a beer (me, not her) she started to lovingly caress the beer bottle with her left hand. Eventually she convinced the right hand (more on this later) to join in on the fun. She quickly grabbed the bottle with both hands and brought it to her face. Initially her aim was a bit off and she ended up bringing it to her eye but on the second try, she was successful enough to bring it to her mouth. Given the opportunity, I’m sure that she would have figured out how to tip it up and guzzle like a champ.

On the right hand front, I’m convinced that somehow her whole right hand and arm was switched with another baby while at the hospital. Occasionally, for no apparent reason, her right arm will begin to flail in large sweeping motions as if by its own free will. Somewhere in central Maine another baby is growing concern about a right arm that just doesn’t seem to be working correctly.

Breast Milk vs. Beer

What’s the main difference between college and family life?  In our house, it was that in college we had a fridge full of beer, now as a married couple with a child we have a deep freeze full of breast milk.  We’ve literally purchased a small deep freeze that is busting at the seams with boobie juice.  PARTY!

Nursery Rhymes

Nursery Rhymes

I was doing a bit more research on nursery rhymes after realizing that I knew none to sing to Brynna.  In the process, I started to notice a startling and concerning pattern in some of the rhymes, especially the ones from one Mother Goose.  I personally think that mama g was tokin up when she came up with some of these bad boys.  Case in point:

Hey, diddle, diddle,The cat and the fiddle,The cow jumped over the moon.The little dog laughedTo see such sport,And the dish ran away with the spoon.

What the frig????? That makes no sense what-so-ever!

Here’s another:

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater,Had a wife and couldn't keep her.He put her in a pumpkin shellAnd there he kept her, very well.

I suspect if I tried to keep Marcy in a pumpkin shell she would get a wee bit pissed and I’d be passing pumpkin seeds for a week.

After this bit o’ research, I believe that Brynna is probably better off if I don’t sing to her.

food good

Last week, Brynna started eating rice cereal. We knew it was time to start her on it since she had started to stare and drool whenever we would eat. The experts say to expect baby to take a while to warm up to eating cereal but Brynna dove right in, and I do mean that literally. She has a tendency to grab the bowl and shove her face right in. I suspect she's spent too much time watching Chance eat and drink. Ok, I admit it, the influence is probably from me since I'm regularly caught licking my plates and bowls.

lullaby

Having a baby, you sometimes find it necessary to sing to the child to soothe him/her.  Unfortunately (for myself and the baby) I only know one lullaby and by “know” I mean that I have knowledge of one but don’t actually know the words.  The one lullaby is “Hush little baby”, and since I don’t know the real words I generally just make something up.  Below are the words that I tend to fall into without even trying.  I think that I have the first couple of lines correct but it goes horribly wrong from there.  I’m not writing this to be funny, these are the actual words that I use.

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word
Mamma’s gonna buy you a mocking bird
And if that mockingbird don’t sing
Mamma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring turns to glass
Mamma’s gonna give you a kick in the ass

(That’s about all.  I usually just repeat from here.  Thankfully, she doesn’t know what I’m saying as long as I use a nice tone, which I’m also incapable of if you’ve ever listened to me sing).

Just to see what the words really are, I googled them today and here they are.  I’m not sure if I’ve ever actually heard the whole thing before.

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word
Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird won’t sing
Pappa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring turns brass
Pappa’s gonna buy you a looking glass
And if that looking glass gets broke
Pappa’s gonna buy you a billy goat
And if that billy goat won’t pull
Pappa’s gonna buy you a cart and bull
And if that cart and bull fall down
You’ll still be the sweetest little baby in town

Dare-devil

One of Brynna's favorite things is for me to hold her in my hands, pick her up quickly to the ceiling and then quickly back down to the bed (in control all the time of course). As you can see from the pictures, she is a little adrenalin junkie.

roll baby, roll

Here is Brynna practicing to be in a circus act.
"Ladies and gentlemen, in the center circle we have the Amazing Brynna who can fit both her foot and a teething ring in her mouth at once!"

A month ago Brynna had successfully rolled from her stomach to back a few times but since then hadn't done it again. The other day, she decided it was time to throw us a bone and wow us with her skills. Brynna has now perfected the back to stomach roll.














Visualizing the roll...

By the way, check out those quads. She's going to be a speedskater some day.

















Here we go, momentum is on her side...

















Almost there, just that one pesky arm to go...

















Tadaaaaa!

 

Bath time

This morning Marcy and I discovered what the soft cover for the changing pad is for. Initially we figured that it was there for baby's comfort but I am here to attest that is not it primary purpose. Its real purpose is urine absorption. This morning while Marcy was changing Brynna and getting her ready for the day she had her nekkid except for a diaper that was placed under B-girl but not yet fastened. Brynna, seeing a window of opportunity, decided that would be a good time to go pee. Defying the laws of physics, the pee miraculously made it around the diaper (without getting the absorbant part wet), onto the vinyl changing pad cover (both soft covers were in the wash), up the length of Brynna's back and into her hair. Yum, yum. I grabbed a towel and a washcloth planning to wipe her down but as Marcy picked her up and I saw urine drip from Brynna's earlobes, it became apparent that a damp washcloth just wasn't going to cut it. A 6am bath was in order.

new vids

Here are a couple of crappy videos from our digital camera from this weekend. The first will give you an idea of what its like to live in the house with Brynna. Once she gets rolling with her wookie growling, there is no stopping her. Sorry that the video is on its side, I don't have the software to rotate it.
video 1

This second video is similar to the first except here Brynna is taunting her feet as if to say "soon, my pretties, you'll be in my mouth". She did actually manage to suck on her toes a couple of times this weekend. Being a Nelson though, she need to work on her flexibility.
video 2

One more for Marcy 

I have nothing funny to write about this but Marcy made me post it anyway. She seems to forget that I gave her posting rights a few weeks ago. grrrrrrrrrr.

On the espresso bean front, is it possible for your teeth to vibrate? 

The challenge

Today's challenge is to eat an entire bag (8 oz) of Wilbur's of Maine's Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans!!!!!!!!! I used all of the exclamation points because that is how my brain feels right now. If I had the capability to talk fast, today would be the day. Its 8am and I'm actually halfway through the bag. Oops. To be honest though, I did give a handfull to Marcy and a few to KDSue and Right Said Fred. I'll keep you posted on my progress. Wish me luck.

http://www.wilburs.com/

DAMNelsons explained

Just to clear things up (tisk, tisk Dena) I will explain exactly how I came up with the name of this blog. As all of you know we live in Damariscotta and our last name is Nelson. Being the clever sort that I am, I thought that I should combine the two to come up with the name. Thats how I came up with DAMNelsons with the added bonus of having a swear word in the name.

4 month weigh-in

“…and in the white corner we have Brynna the Barbarian!”

B-girl had her 4 month check-up today and has continued with her overachieving ways.  Here’s the weigh-in:

Weight: 16 pounds (90%ile) Height:26 3/4 " (>97%ile) Head: 17" (93%ile)

On a side note, our doctor’s last name is Moorehead.  How unfortunate is that?  She’s female even.  I can just imagine how that went during her school years.

In intramural sports:

“I’ll take Moorehead.”

“No, we need Moorehead on our team.”

“But you had Moorehead last time.”

"I'm a model, you know what I mean..." 

Svan

Check out Brynna's sweet new high chair. Its Swedish like the fish but doesn't make you poop red.

Brynna and Chance enyoying a chew in front of the fire.





















and enjoying some Sports Center.

Another Christmas day pic