Big Belly! Turkey is almost done. 

Nipple sandwiches for everyone!

Last night Marcy and I had our third installment of our birthing class. While the first class was provocative in its own way, last night's class was by far the funniest. To balance out the porn that we viewed in the first class we were shown a cartoonish video about elks and epidurals. I guess they feel that talking about epidurals on an elk is less disturbing than on humans. I'll tell you what I find more disturbing. I find it disturbing to see poorly animated elks playing the part of a human family. We even got to see the preggers elk mother's legs spread with the baby's head poking out "down there". I'm not four years old ya know, I think that I can handle seeing the real thing.

I also got a good chuckle when the instructor was talking about how to breast feed. Essentially you are supposed to pretend that you are making a nipple sandwich (her words, not mine) to put into the baby's mouth. I've decided that "nipple sandwich" is going to be my new catch phrase. It will go something like this "oh yeah, well you're a nipple sandwich!" or something else of that nature.

The piece de resistance (piece of resistance for those of you who don't speak french) was when the instructor explained that sometimes the umbilical cord will come out before the baby. If this happens the doctor must hold the cord in with his or her fingers while the mother is rushed to the emergency birthing room on a gurney while in the (I swear that I'm not making this up!) "doggie style" position because this puts the least amount of stress on the cord thus keeping the baby from suffocating from a pinched cord. I certainly don't wish this on anyone but I truly hope that if it ever happens at our hospital that I'm there to witness it. Truly a fantastic photo-op.

Thank god I never matured.

We're getting there...

Almost finished!

So here is a pic of the baby's room as it currently stands. We think that its looking pretty nice. All that is left is to paint and re-hang the doors and put the baseboard heat back in (note: being the mechanical dunce that I am, I will be recruiting Grampa Nelson to help me hook the heat back up. Lets hope that we don't burn the house down in the process.). Marcy re-painted the dresser in some fun colors. There are going to be lots of colors but it should all tie together quite well (just wait til you see the gliding rocker fabric!).

Our back yard...almost.

Sweet singletrack

For those of you who wonder what type of trails that Marcy and I ride (when Marcy isn't carrying so much ballast that is) here is a trail that starts just a half mile from our house. It was a neglected trail when we first came upon it but we have cleaned it up nicely. Most trails around here are much rougher but since we are the only ones that use this particular trail it has managed to stay quite smooth.

32 weeks 

ugliest dog ever

pus head

This picture doesn't do it justice but Chance came home from a weekend at the grandparents with a pusy (thats pus not ...) sore on the back of his head. We figured that the knuckelhead had just bonked himself on something during his weekend shennanigans. Anyway, we didn't worry too much until the next morning when we woke up to see Chance's head, ears and neck completely covered with bumps and the pooch doing his best to rip his skin off so it was off to the vets we go. Long story short, two shots, ten days of meds and a $100 bill and he's on the mend. We still don't want to pet him though. ewwww

For such a manly looking dog he seems to be sick an awful lot. Grace, who was born with a debilitating birth defect that was supposed to have killed her years ago is still going strong and only goes to the vet for her yearly shots. Mr. Pants on the other hand is in every few months for something or other. I'm turning into more of a cat person every day.

Oh yeah, did I mention that he also got sprayed by a skunk while up at Rancho de Nelson? When will the madness end?????

Three Weddings and a Bike Race

Ok, ok, it was only one wedding and a bike race but that didn't sound as much like "Three Wedding and a Funeral" (only the best movie ever!). Marcy and I attended a wedding for a college friend of mine on Saturday in New Hampster. We were quarantined from the rest of the guests by being seated at a table with three other pregnant couples. I think that people were shying away from our table for fear of picking up some of the reproductivity germs that were obviously going around our table. On a good note, since all of the women at the table were impregnated it meant that there was more complimentary wine for us men to share! Good times...

Kev and I cutting a rug. If I didn't know better I would swear this was a gay club (check out the two dudes over my shoulder).

Extreme Jeffey!

On Sunday we got up at the butt-crack of dawn (at least for a Sunday after a wedding) and headed to Gorham Maine for my mountain bike race. I did reasonably well (finished second) but Marcy and I think that the highlight of the day was this photo-op of our friend and teammate Mary during pre-race warm-ups. I'm not sure what she was warming up for but it looks like more fun than what I'm doing...

When pets attack!

Animals are great. This morning as I was stepping over Chance to enter into the kitchen I accidently stepped on his tail. He of course yelped, growled and came around on me in suprise (he had no intention of biting me, he's just not a morning dog). As this was happening Grace came sprinting over doing her best imitation of one of the animals from Stephen King's "Pet Cemetary". I'm talking about a truly demonic growl/hiss. If lightning bolts flew out of her ears I wouldn't have been suprised. Chance being the highly tuned killing machine that he is merely looked at Grace with his most intelligent face (see photo below), tail wagging and proceeded to stick his nose in Grace's face. What fun. Marcy thinks that Grace was trying to protect me from him, I think that she just hates Chance.



"I'm a Rhodes Scholar"







On a high note, the girl at the French and Brawn counter called me "Sir" today. I think I feel a midlife crisis coming on...

Birthing class gone wild!

Whew, Marcy and I had our first birthing class last night and I tell ya, it was a hoot. There was lots of good information but by far my favorite part was the 80's vintage hard core porn masquerading as an educational video that we watched about halfway through. When they show the baby's head coming out of the woman's hoo-hoo it makes even the strongest stomach want to eject its morning kibble! I think that this is the video that they should show in high school health class when they are teaching abstinence. If I were a teenage girl (insert dirty euphemism here) and I watched a video like that you wouldn't catch me doing the horizontal mambo anytime soon.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next three classes. If that was the opening act, I can't wait to see what comes next.

woopsie! How did this get here?

I promised to not put this picture on the blog so here it is...Sorry Joanne.

Weekend wedding

A pic of Marcy and I from a wedding this weekend. Marcy got lots of compliments on the dress!

Va Va Voom

Marcy's only 4-months preggers here but its one of our favorites so if you want something more current, you're gonna have to make the trek to Damariscotta and see for yourself.

Baby's Room Part Deux

Ok, here are some updated pics. You'll notice some purty fine craftmanship from this first time carpenter (all of the outlets are even centered between beads in the wainscotting! Damn I'm good.) When its finished, it will be the nicest room in the house by far. The kids not even born yet and she's spoiled rotten. This aint gonna be good...
Marcy selected the hardware for this door. She has nice taste don't you think?

As a side note, since the room went way, way, way over budget we've decided we cannot afford to keep the baby so we're going to sell her on e-bay.

Baby Nelson

Our beautiful baby girl. We'll be seeing you in 10 short weeks (for me at least, probably the longest 10 weeks since the dawn of time for Marcy)!

For the grandparents, we think that we've come up with a name that we're happy with. The first of you that shows up this weekend with a wheelbarrow full of cash gets to find out.

The baby's room!

Here's a sneak peek at the baby's room.
Much has been done since these photos were taken but I seem to have lost the pics... Finish painting should happen this weekend.









Poor Chancy-Pants remembers the days when he had the run of this room. So sad...

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