got grape?

6-9 month hat my ass! I wouldn't stand behind brynna while she's wearing this sucker, it likely to fly off of her head and take out an eye. 

Fetish?

Me thinks that I like orange, this is all orange stuff that I happened to have at the office today. In my defence, half the stuff was given to me but come on now, this is absurd. I guess I haven't totally outgrown my redneck blaze orange background. 

You'd better look quick because having Brynna sit still like this is a rare occurance. 

Big Day!

The DAMNelsons had a big day yesterday. After work I cruised into Bath to pick up the new (used) mom wagon we had purchased on Saturday and also to pick up a new vacuum because our old one went toes up the other day. Well, I got home with both and Marcy proceeded to put together the vacuum and vacuum the whole house, and I do mean the WHOLE HOUSE, twice. I had been home with the car for over an hour and I asked if she liked the look of it sitting in the driveway and she said that she hadn't even looked at it yet. She hadn't even looked at it because she had spent the last hour doing things with the vacuum that would make a Tijuana prostitute blush. I'd swear the f'in thing had a spin cycle and whoever said that you shouldn't give your wife a vacuum for her birthday/anniversary anyway? I got a better reaction out of that thing than anything that I've ever gotten her.












Oh yeah, and Brynna did something cute too or something.

The Russillo three

Sally, Michael and Enzo visited the Nelson's yesterday for a bit-o-shopping and ice cream eating. Apparently B-girl loved Michael and vice-versa. Michael even entertained Brynn while Marcy shopped. I'm guessing that for that reason alone we'll be seeing more of Michael in the near future. Hopefully Brynna gets this older man thing out of her system soon...

Click on the picture for a video of Michael and Brynna playing.

Ok, everyone should stop reading right about now...

Oh yeah, did I mention that after having three kids under six in the house for a couple of hours I've seriously thinking of having my testicles removed and saved in a jar of pickle juice? There is no freakin way that I could handle that kind of carnage on a daily basis and with pickled berries we'd at least be safe from having three of our very own. I don't know how my parents did it with three boys, I'm guessing that is why the bought 200 acres of land because I think that is how much space it takes to keep three boys from killing each other. Anyway, I can always get some neuticles to take their place. I'll take the extra large because I'm worth it.

Hate mail

I’ve begun to receive hate mail from a certain mother-in-law.  I wonder what I did to deserve this???

E-mail 1: “You are one Dead son-in-law ! Paybacks are Hell, ya know ? AAAAGGGGHHH. Watch your back, buddy”

E-mail 2: “Yeah, Yeah, Yeah ! I'm gonna get ya sooo BAD ! I'm already
working on it
.HAR-dee-har-har !”

She’s even begun to threaten Marcy!
“I hope you have a new husband in mind, because Rick is sooooooo DEAD ! “

I think that they need to check her med levels, these don’t seem to be cutting it.

Proof!

Remember last week when I said that Mimi Jo and Grammie So were a bit crazy? Well I now have video proof of Mimi Jo's affliction. Attached is a video taken yesterday after Easter lunch with Mimi Jo doing everything she can to get Brynna to laugh. She got her to laugh alright but in the process everyone else in the room started to wonder if her psyche ward was starting to miss her. I particularly like the flailing arm part. FYI Joanne said that she had better not see this on the blog, so being the good son-in-law that I am, here it is in all of its glory. Enjoy! Video link.

news

Uh oh, I must officially be reaching middle age because Marcy and I are shopping for an (egad!) station wagon! What the frig are we thinking????? I’m going to go from my sportyish little coupe to a freakin mom wagon. Actually, the two that we’ve narrowed it down to are pretty pimp and much nicer than both of our other cars so all is well. Let the haggling begin!

In other news, remember how long it took me to renovate Brynna’s room? Well, I’m now on target to easily out procrastinate that room with my next project. I started working on renovating the bathroom about, mmmm, two months ago and I think that I’m only about two months away from completion. I tell ya, when I put my mind to something, there is no telling how long I can put it off for. If it wasn’t for my raging case of ADD I’d probably be able to finish sooner but it kind of tough when you spend 10 mins. painting, couple hours on trim, back to painting, hmmm I wonder what light fixture we should get, where is that new sink, concrete counter sounds like a good idea, cork floor, what? Concrete counter… It’s a wonder that I’m able to dress myself in the morning. Oh yeah, you heard me right, we’re going to have a concrete counter for the bathroom but don’t worry, it won’t be a boring gray slab that I’m sure the idea conjured. I plan to acid wash the counter after its formed to give it a subtle brown finish. It should be pretty killer when I finish it in 2008.

Not our kitchen but this is a concrete counter.

overheard

This was part of a phone conversation in my office today. I'm starting to wonder about my co-workers...

"...he had a slight growth at the tip of his penis..."


hmmmmmmm

Mother humper

We keep trying to tell Brynna that its not nice to hump mommy but she just doesn’t seem to understand. Video proof. Be patient, the download is worth it.

Crazy Grammies

I now know where I get my sense of humor from. It has come to my attention that Marcy’s mother Joanne and my mother Sonia have come up with an ever so clever little routine at work. Joanne is Mimi Jo to all of her grandkids so every day, when my mother leaves, passing Joanne’s desk, she says “Bye Mimmi Jo” to which Joanne replies “Bye Grammie So”. From what I hear, they get quite the kick out of this. With such comedic genius in our bloodlines, is it any wonder why this blog is so gosh darn entertaining?



So clever and yet so evil.

Scary (not for the faint of heart)

Ok, its disturbing dream time. Over the years I’ve been known to have some amazingly bizarre dreams. The dreams are bizarre enough that when I recount them to friends they seriously consider running away or calling the authorities. I’m not talking about anything violent or indecent, simply weird. Since reaching adulthood (and I use that term loosely) the strangeness seems to have waned a bit and in fact, I remember far fewer dreams as I used to.

Well, last night I had a dream to rival some of my older dreams. While not as long or graphic as some of the classics, last nights dream ranks near the top simply by its extreme twisted nature. Since B-Girl is seven months old right now, I spend a good portion of my day either thinking about her or spending time with her. Last night, Marcy wasn’t feeling well so I had sole parental obligations for the evening and I’m afraid that even though Brynna was in a great mood that something snapped in my brain.

The details are a bit fuzzy as they typically are but the main point of the dream was that Marcy and I, for some odd reason, had a mini baby to help us through the first few months of Brynna’s childhood. Don’t ask me how the mini-b was helping us, it just was. Anyway, the baby was small enough that it was able to crawl around in the palm of my hand. In my dream, we were approaching the time that we would no longer “need” the mini-b anymore and I was unsure what to do with it. I had grown very attached to it apparently. Not knowing what to do, I asked Tina (who happens to be a physicians assistant at a pediatricians office and has a baby almost one month older than Brynna) what she did with her mini-c. She said, this is where it gets disturbing, that she ate it. SHE ATE IT!!!!! Sensing my dismay (possibly from the look of horror and disgust on my face) she explained that it was perfectly normal and that eventually, when the time was right, Marcy too would do the same. I think that this is when I woke up to check to see if I had wet myself.

Does anybody know a good shrink?

Marzipan baby. Friggin creepy.

Screech

We finally have it, video proof of what we have to deal with on a daily basis with Brynna. B-Girl likes to scream, at the top of her lungs, whenever she gets excited. Which, to be honest with you if she's gotten enough sleep, is all of the time. Of course, we tell people this but when they come over Brynna plays nice and quiet like a good little girl. She's even sly enough to not do it for the video camera. Well, Monday evening when Brynna was on one of her tears I videod her from around the corner so that she wouldn't suspect what I was up to and captured it all on film or memory card or whatever the frig this thing uses.

video 1

video 2

Photo dump

I see the devil in those eyes.




















Isn't she a bit young to be showing plumbers crack already?

Photo dump

Chubby baby.















Out for a walk.

He who shall not be named.

Remember way back when I did a post on the names of some of Brynna's toys. Well all of those toys have now been passed over for new and better things, except for one. Guess which one that would be. I'll give you a minute... Thats right dildoey. Wouldn't you know it that the one toy that I made up the name for (and a totally inappropriate one at that) would be the one toy that Brynna still loves. In fact, if she were to only have one toy, I'm sure that this is the one that she'd pick. Big suprise. So to be sure that one of B-Girl's first words doesn't happen to be dildoey, we've decided to simply call it doey for now or "he who shall not be named" cause if dildoesy does happen to be her next word, you can be sure to find a death mark above my head.